Wednesday, December 19, 2007


Monday nite of laughter! Recovering from Sunday nite partying... sleep was way overdue by the time I crossed my front door. Exhaustion was in the air. After napping for 2 hrs, I was awaken by the arrival of my BFF. We sat up and talked for a while, then my phone rang. Who would of known! This returned call turned into hours of babbling. Starting out with a detailed description of exactly what dating meant in different cultures. Small topic, big laughs and a long nite!!!

BFF stayed in the convo til 4 am and the convo continued til 6:15 am. How the hell will i get up for work??? I did it! One more late nite... Although it took place in my home with the absence of alcohol. I wonder what drove me to talk for so long. Is it like, interest, love, fate??? I don't know if I can answer the question. A friendship has begun! Developing thru way of berry messenger. A love connection, perhaps! Or is it just two souls, awaiting the arrival for an enlightening connection. So different, yet mesh very well. The convos are endless! Empowering! Brings out the girlie girl in me! But what do I want from this? For now I'll take it as a friendship that's so meant to be. But sometimes I wonder where we'll go from here... One day at a time. My Romeo is not what I expected, should I be Juliet... I'm not what he expected! So all we can do is take what the day brings and leave an open window for the unexpected...

6 hours on the damn phone! WTF!!!

Thursday, December 13, 2007


A date! OMG all of a sudden I have 2. What should i do??? Should I opt to be romanced in a foreign language or should I show face and make a run for it. Funny... the moment I locked eyes with the berry addict, I knew that it was him and I that nite. My other plans were cancelled long b4 HE decided my nite would end with him. They say U can sometimes miss a blessing, a gift, a good thing when U go for ideal packaging. Well well well... let me tell U! I am happy my inner woman fights a lot harder for the things that spark her interest.

It all started from the inclusion of a mass email. Yes... months after we'd met. How things come right on time and are sooo meant to be! Ok... well back to the date. We go & take care of business (Oh no... not that kind of business!), then head to dinner. Dinner with the boys! That was entertaining and tasty. From dinner we proceed to a French restaurant for dessert. The crepes were delish!!! The wine was ok... and from there the party continued. A nite of laughter, smiles and good times. By 12 we were finishing up with glass 3 and heading to "the spot." My 2nd home... Lotus. Needless to say, the nite was a blur by 1. Yes 1am! Uhhh... what a mess I am. One things for sure, I know how to have a good time!!!

Oh... And guess what? I think I've been bit by the "LOVE BUG." Shhhhh don't tell anyone! I'm trying to hold my composure people!!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Is it not meant to be???

The fire's ignited with a berry swap... BFF is having a very engaging convo with a familiar young man on my behalf. The conversation goes from casual flirting to intense expressions of seeing him once again.

Ok... so now the guy has a mouth full and a burning desire to see me once again. With conflicting schedules at hand, we manage to keep the energy flowing thru berry messenger. It starts with a casual hello, migrates to a pic of self, then a pic of "what to expect" follows. "What to expect...." Mouth wide open! Now the tables have turned and my desires intensify. For a few days, all I can think of is what it will feel like. And after vaca that day presents itself.

"What's up?" Nothing, lying on my couch. "I'm coming over tonite! I'm done at 9pm, see you after!" Anxiously waiting, I begin to clean. Upon his arrival, not WOW'd, but I know there's more to come. He crosses the door, I exit the shower while he sits patiently on the chaise. With a special room invite, we change up the scenery a bit and begin fondling. Kissing, touching, squeezing, holding... all that U can imagine and more! With so much passion, the body screams for MORE. Wants become needs! Motioning to gain such satisfaction, he blurts out, "I don't have any ____." WTF How do u come for an act without all your props??? Uhhhh.... I instantly transform. With a greed to now fulfill a need, I try the old fashion way of reaching my peak. With bodies rubbing, undies touching and warm french kisses to the neck, I get a lil of what I need. Sexually frustrated, turns into somewhat pleased.

I deem tonite a nite worth my time! It's been sometime since I've taken it there... Droughts, dry spells, lack of, can be frustrating. But for some reason I believe God wants my "good girl" to be preserved for "MY GUY!!!" And my guy only! So what will I do? I'll wait! I shall wait patiently... Patiently waiting, but promise it won't take so long this time...

San Fran

Sometimes a day, a moment, a week, a minute, a month, a year... all facets of time to escape can be give just what's needed. New scenery, peaceful environment, visions of unknown waters, red bridges, trolley rides through the streets of Union Square. An exciting escape offering new flavors of life. Architecture of a genius. Who would of known San Fran is the place I'd like to see again. Time well spent! Energy well released! Sleep worth missing! Court side seats worth filling! Delectable tastes & compliments to the chef! A life so close, yet a notable space between the 2.

So the trip comes to an end. New surroundings become familiar territory as the plane glides across the skies, landing in NEW YORK. I'm back! Ready to keep the party going. Ready to go for what I want in life. Welcoming what makes me laugh. I'm back! And given this weeks chain of events... I am really operating as if vacation isn't over just yet.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

7 whole days...

It's been a week since we've touched... I can admit the longing to return. But to let the thoughts fluster my mind at such an inappropriate time... The first tear has already hit my chest and I can feel tear #2 forming to make an adjacent landing. I didn't want to deal with this emotion. I tried to brush a smile over the frown. Truth is, frowning or pouting, the true me shows up on my face. And right now, I am not who U think I am. Always filled with joy... this is currently a thing of the past! I thought my sorrow was so "last season," but evidently it has resurfaced to Fall 2007. I aspire to be an all around happy being.

Then I wonder... Lord am I asking for too much? Do I lack faith? Is my voice whispering at a time when I should be shouting? Do I lack ambition? Am I ready for what I really want? Do you have an alternate plan? R U making me wait b/c something bigger is in the picture? Am I waiting, so I can truly believe in your power when the blessing comes? Y??? I ask, Y? I feel alone in a dark place and I'd like to see light. Light at the other end of this tunnel. As I type, I can barely focus b/c I'm experiencing day 3 of a chronic headache. It's all new to me. 25... and.... what's next? Should I just pack up and start this journey all over again? What should I do? There must be lines of communication that have been cut b/c I'm unsure if U hear me and I really cannot hear U. Or am I mistaking your voice? Are you speaking thru another being? Where r U? I need U!!! Attempting to wait patiently...

Please... Not another nightmare tonite... PLEASE! Reveal the beauty to come, in my dream tonite. That will shift my dark vision significantly! Thanks in advance (*_*)

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Clarity from the MAN we can always count on... GOD!

U are right! God will always answer even if it's not right now. This made me slump in my seat a bit. It's like, always expect the unexpected. Kind of makes U question things. Although, I believe in loving hard even if it means you'll only be able to love that person for a short period of time. But in human error we sometimes lose hope. It's like... well when can I feel safe and not be at square one again, so soon??? The pieces will fall in the places God visioned, even if this puzzle doesn't go together as planned by your naked eye.

The clarity lies in your truth and His favor... GOD (*_*)

Monday, November 5, 2007

Stand Still!

When the world's moving fast and U can't keep the pace, stand still. Allow things to revolve around U for a while. Observation changes when U remove self from the rat race. Sometimes U must "stand still!"

That's all for today! Why??? Because I'm just "STANDING STILL!!!"

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Halloween's Over!

Halloween was kinda fun! Club was extremely packed, so U know I was hot as hell. But the girls enjoyed... Viv was loved up! I must say... those 2 look good together! Phoenix had a number of things going on last nite. To her surprise, she was actually drunk (An admirer from way back told her so) and definitely policing the place! lol My other bff anticipated such a great nite, she took off. And I'm sure it was a great nite for her. It went from dance club to strip club. Couldn't enjoy the strip club, due to morning obligations. The team counts on me! Haha what a joke!

Today... Surprisingly, I am feeling and looking quite good. Refreshed if I must say so myself. I am sure it's the good energy I put into the universe. I spoke of today being a fantastic day and that it is! I have another highlight of the day, but I'll wait to discuss. Right now, I need grub! Meeting Phoenix for a bite and heading home to enjoy my tube. :) What a nite to lead into an even better day...

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

At the end of the day...

At the end of the day U realize you have many people rooting for you, many concerned about your well-being. The simplest gesture of contact brings back the moment when you realized you're loved. All of a sudden, a voice just lifted U up! Thanks! I appreciate the change of energy. Then I wonder, was it me or U? Did I just come to realize greatness thru U? Or was it all U. I can give equal credit... it was US. Nah, it was just U being you and God showing me that all things pass, good or bad. Accept, embrace, let go and let God! That's the motto to a pure heart.

That was a stack of bricks off the chest! Now let's party! Happy Halloween!!! A "Sexy Devil" is what I'll be (*_*) Let's see who gets the naughty ending tonight...

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Clouded Thoughts...

Great morning! Porridge to fill the belly, tea to soothe the soul.

It's funny... You're on the good foot with all, then one rotten apple manages to spoil the bunch! Didn't think it bothered me much, but this time my feathers have been ruffled. In a world where selfish is necessary at times, many don't know how to step out of that element to become selfless. OK OK OK... enough babbling! Address the issue and move on. That I shall do today!

Heading into a meeting this morning. Interest for what's to be discussed is nonexistent. Obligations... responsibilities... warrants my presence. :( Definitely a sad face moment. Oh well... here goes nothing!

Monday, October 29, 2007

Sleeping Beauty...

Who says beauty can't derive from rest??? If lack of rest can turn a beauty into a beast, is quite the opposite possible? Well today I'm more well rested than I've been in a long time. Skipping out on the night's festivities... Trading in a night of dancing, for a night of sleep... for a day of sanity! So much has been accomplished today. A feeling of warmth has entered my body. 40 degree weather hasn't taken the warm breeze out of my body. There's something about sleep that just makes U focus. U see things differently. The world seems to respond with clarity when approaching the day with a clear and open mind. My day thus far has been great! A sense of greatness achieved by self. Sleep has managed to push extremities that would normally f*ck up my day, to the back burner. Today is a good day! Tomorrow... Ummm, even better!

Saturday night drunkenness, coupled with a greasy burger to follow, didn't make a mess of my Sunday and my Sunday made today a blessed day. Thank God for opportunities, decisions, choices!!! The best thing about tomorrow is knowing that a new beginning is approaching and this beginning surfaces from the art of sleep. Whoever said the nickname of "Sleeping Beauty" wasn't the best appointed title ever... Kiss my ___! Ooopps (*_*)

Friday, October 26, 2007


So I roll out of bed with the feeling of staying where I am for the next few hours. But who can ignore the time being watched on someone else's clock? Alright, alright... I've managed to make it to the shower and my day has begun! The halo of a days work sitting on my conscience. The thought of "what can I do today to make my life better?" becomes a constant question in my mind. Gloomy weather, brisk air... not quite the day I'd like, but hell, it is FRIDAY!!! And when the workday comes to an end, freedom begins!

What will my weekend consist of? I'm sure I'll have some beans to spill by Monday. Hell... I may need to grab a pen and paper Saturday morning to journal Friday night's mayhem. No plans, but that doesn't suggest it'll be a quiet evening. Wine, movie, boy toy... I'm all set for a frisky evening, but plans seem to go astray from one berry message. My messenger buds always have a cluster of "things" to do. Oh... and I mean "things" literally!

Hahaha! That last comment excited me a bit. So inappropriate for the office. But who cares??? U can't see thru my black pants anyhow... (*_*) J/K

Lata Yall!

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Today's the Day!!!

Is today that special day??? I think so! Confirmation... Well I just read an old email from one of my nearest and dearest. It read:

"I read what u sent MJ, I thought I was reading something else! Keep a diary, cause ur good! I'd buy it :o) LOL Ummm, time for you 2 start your own anonymous blog! I'm serious! That would be dope! Blog all this down! Love it!"
S. Shine...

The exchange of such words happened on August 13th, 2007. 2 months and (almost) 2 weeks later, I come to expose a snippet of my world. A world that changes upon exiting the building that houses our 9-5. Many may wonder, but few know the truth of our lives. We're young NYC girls, reveling in both worlds. I welcome your presence and tempt your craving to experience life on the island in which I reside... NEW YORK CITY!!!