Excitement! Having it is evidence of one living. You should have zest. You should have zeal. You should be excited about life and the feeling should be real. But what about disappointment?
I often get my hopes up with the presence of a new, strong, take my breath away kind of being. It's the one that's most intriguing who catches my eye. It's the un-thought-of chemistry that ruffles my feathers. It's the potential me that I'm excited to see!
And that typically goes well. We usually have a grand ole time. Captured by who he is and he's intoxicated by me. As the emotion grows, the intensity of something we share becomes frightening. While I look to the right, gazing, thinking of what our lives of passion could be , he's looking left, opting to take the simple path. One where his emotions are under control. Something with a person who doesn't enliven his soul.
I do understand the demand to be in charge. However, the thought of what we were and an idea towards the future, it would be love at large. Alright, no "what ifs" falling from my mouth. What we are and what we were have completely gone south. I'm not heartbroken, my life hasn't crumbled. BUT the next encounter I must mask my excitement and the mention of his name will get no more than a mumble.
I can no longer be taken high to be dropped low...