Smile Upon Today

Involved in everything going on, within my circumference. A surprising shake grabs hold of my attention, causing me to go beyond my circle to gain balance.  In this shift, I look up and catch the eye of a fellow New Yorker.  Perhaps this person wasn't born and bred, yet the years of living this city life has changed his face. 

Mean muggin'.  Yes, that's what some call it.  Expressions of anger, unhappiness plastered not only on this gentleman's face, but on this woman's face, the person next to her and the elderly woman next to him.  Why are we so mad?  The day has only progressed to the 8 o'clock hour, yet we have the worries of yesterday, the sorrows of tomorrow and the absence of today. 

The absence of today makes one decay.  If we turned our frowns upside-down, life may shine upon us.  Your next destination may not be your best destination, however this is what life calls for at the moment.  Take it. Accept it.  Embrace it.  Welcome it. 

Have a good day, today!

At Morning Rise I Close My Eyes

Each weekday morning rise feels like a slow death.  Yet, I peel back the covers and conjure up just enough strength to tap dance on the hardwood floors.  Sitting on the edge, of what sometimes feels like a ledge, I debate aborting the mission to crawl back into bed.

Acknowledging my thoughts, feelings, emotions... I can't help but wonder, who am I?  This spirit is very unlike the one I've always known.  However, it's one that has been present for quite some time.  I used to sleep like an angel and rise like the sun.  Who am I, now?  I rarely get a good night's sleep and it's quite unusual to open my eyes and fully welcome the sunrise.  Is this what depression feels like?  Is this what a lack of fulfillment looks like?  Is this what being stuck feels like?  Is this what stress looks like?  

While I can't quite pinpoint the exact emotion, I do know that my daytime agenda lacks curiosity.  It lacks luminosity.  It lacks growth, for I have come to know all I can here... But what do you do when something new hasn't arrived, (just yet)?  If the money didn't support my basic needs, this moment (here) would for sure be my last.  Should I take a big risk?  Should I sacrifice needs for happiness?  I tend to be the person who allows trouble to find me.  Today I want to initiate the first day of the rest of my life. 

Energy-less days have caused me to portray this corporation as a bloodsucking establishment, draining the energy out of my everyday life.  Thoughts of Friday, post 5:30 are brewing at 7 a.m., Monday morning.

I love life!  Is it fair to my well-being to rush through it, if only for the sake of making it through the workday?  Am I robbing my soul for financial console?  Can I make due with a savings come true?  I have all these thoughts of what can be done, yet my independent mindset doesn't find comfort in needing anything from anyone.  They say the worse thought of a wealthy man is being poor, and in a sense I get that. 

So what do I do???  I think it's time to call Daddy.  While the government bails out billion dollar financial institutions, I ponder who's ever there to bail out the individual.  The individual that has always held her own... 

Who's here for me?  Especially in a time when this bloodsucking establishment is hindering one from being free.  It's time to leave and just be.  GOD please save ME!    



It's Saturday!

To know the best wave of communication is that of written word, I pop my MacBook open and begin typing.  It's a Saturday evening and besides a store run, I've been indoors all day.  Of lately, I've been worried about making the most of my days... But today, today I am not concerned with the "what should I do" nor the "what I need to do."  Today, I'm enjoying the events of the day as they present themselves to me.

It's Saturday.  Enjoy beautiful world!!!

Sometimes...

Sometimes you want to walk into open arms. Sometimes you yearn to feel safe.  Sometimes there's a need to be protected.  Sometimes it's the idea of having your partner in crime.  Sometimes it's about security.  Sometimes you have an unconscious need to be fulfilled.  Sometimes... Sometimes you can get caught up in the emotions of now!

While the present hour isn't one to be ignored, it is the present emotions that one must not act upon in the heat of a moment.  Take a chance, sure.  But what's done today, you may have to pay for everyday.  Another visitor in the Clark Hotel.  A repeat guest for "sometime," but that time too passes...

See, I didn't get it before, but I understand it now.  It all makes sense!  That which is built on weak ground shall fall.  It's the logics of building.  And though great ideas can come in the form of "sometimes," it is a sure thing that goes on in an attempt to build something substantial.

I write this note, not to lecture, but to express the fleeting emotion of a woman; developed from the neediness to nurture.  That said, wisen up young girl!  The worlds are again shifting.  There's a level of consciousness that needs to be accepted and respected.  You don't deserve temporary assets with permanent risks!

Ok, signing off.  A full night of sleep is needed and I think it'll happen.  Here's to transformation!  Sleep well...

Violet

I Am Love

At my very best I am love!  Listening to Aaliyah on my ipod this a.m. really has me going... I've slid into a lighter mood.  The softness of her voice connected to the softness of my heart.  I feel fresh.  Taking in the brisk air and breathing every breath with focus, intention, a feeling of life being its best.

Truth is, I can have sunny days, everyday, IF I choose to.  I've come to realize that My happiness is indeed My choice.  And today I choose It!  My day is bright.  My future has limitless possibilities.  My life is full.  At my very best I am love and all aspects of my life shall embody just that.

May your day be blessed.  The Lord is very present.  HE is very consistent.  HE knows my heart and that is where My love starts. 

The End, My Friend!

The moment I’m no longer excited about getting out of the bed in the a.m. , I think that proves itself to be the very end.  The end of whatever road I'm traveling.  The end to whatever song I'm singing.  The end of the love story being told… The end, as I know it best!

The End.

Taken High, Dropped Low...

Excitement! Having it is evidence of one living. You should have zest. You should have zeal. You should be excited about life and the feeling should be real. But what about disappointment?

I often get my hopes up with the presence of a new, strong, take my breath away kind of being. It's the one that's most intriguing who catches my eye. It's the un-thought-of chemistry that ruffles my feathers. It's the potential me that I'm excited to see!

And that typically goes well. We usually have a grand ole time. Captured by who he is and he's intoxicated by me. As the emotion grows, the intensity of something we share becomes frightening. While I look to the right, gazing, thinking of what our lives of passion could be , he's looking left, opting to take the simple path. One where his emotions are under control. Something with a person who doesn't enliven his soul.

I do understand the demand to be in charge. However, the thought of what we were and an idea towards the future, it would be love at large. Alright, no "what ifs" falling from my mouth. What we are and what we were have completely gone south. I'm not heartbroken, my life hasn't crumbled. BUT the next encounter I must mask my excitement and the mention of his name will get no more than a mumble.

I can no longer be taken high to be dropped low...