A.M. Thoughts...

Rising to a vibration, an alert, my roomie/alarm clock has just sounded. I snap out of the dream and forcefully open my eyes to a bbm mssg advising I get up. Oh sh*t! It's 8:07 am. An hour late already. I attempt to panic, but there's a sense of calm that has taken over me. Let's say I still feel like I'm on vaca (smile!).

Ok, so I'm aware of why I may have overslept. Perhaps its the 10 hour workday I endured. Or the late nite smoke. Or simply the presence of that man I'm so very fond of. Ahhh... We'll go with the latter and consider the others as icing on the cake.

Now back to this man... Apparently I was in deep thought before, during and after his visit. While sleeping I remember a vision, a presence of his being. Not sure of the dynamics, but somehow he met me in my dreams - I didn't want to wake. But thanks to worldly contribution & responsibility, dreamy thoughts were interrupted.

So this man, I'm not sure what draws me to him. It's as if this unspoken power lying in him, speaks to me. It not only speaks, it whistles, it yells, it pulls me toward... With thoughts of being the best Me I can be, I hold back. From his soft hands, to gentle kiss. The embracing hug, making me feel so safe in your arms. Wow, I dream of having such attraction, such a feeling, such a joy, in the presence of a man of my own. For He that I've dreamt of isn't mine and will not be... However, at the moment, all I can think of is life with him & me. I ♡ him... I really do!

Of My Own...

*At times I sit and reminisce... Thoughts of past time love. Past time joy. Past time companionship. I try not to get lost in the past, as you will miss out on the present. I try not to focus so much on the future, as you will not enjoy the delights of today.

*However, today, and it's been a while... I feel as if I have hugs and kisses to share, but no one near to care. To receive. To reciprocate. To appreciate.

*As my soft lips and warm hugs are silenced, I try to put a positive spin on it all. WHEN that special someone becomes a part of my life, there will be love of the past and present - built up inside my soul and at that point, I shall give of myself wholeheartedly.

*Are you ready my love? Because I am!

Amsterdam... Day 5

It arrives... I arise... With swollen eyes. Body not quite recouping from the 8 hour detox. Sleep just wasn't that thing needed to fully restore my being and my beauty! But as a dear friend once said, she has surrendered her body to pregnancy," I surrendered mine to smoke inhalation. Day 5 and I don't quite have a map of what the day will bring, but I cross the Marriott doors without expectation and knowing that the 1st stop SHOULD be The Internet Cafe/Coffee Shop.

As I peruse the streets of Amsterdam, I gravitate towards an amazing taste, familiar to the great taste experienced 2 nights before. Red Light District once again. Pampa, Argentinean restaurant once again. And as I envisioned, the 2nd time around was even better! Greeted by one I've seen b4 and looking for "the one" I'd like to see again... Mario is his name and he delivered an amazing course, with compliments and an email address to go along with it. Ahhh, don't U just ♡ amazing fare!

On to touristy things like Anne Frank's flat and frolicking about the beautiful city via foot. I manage to walk off some of the baggage acquired at Pampa and more shopping to my surprise. A great pair of green and black booties. And who declared me a sandal gal? Haha The day continues. Many sights, a few pics and lots of smoke. The thing I'll miss most... The FREEDOM of smoking! And while I do miss it b4 its gone, I look ahead to a time of cleansing, just so I can take another puff and pickup exactly where I left off. Amsterdam, I'll be back! This time 3 days is quite enough. I'll catch U on a long weekend. Smoke lovers... Pay AMS @ least one visit. You're bound to reach heights unseen. Til next trip, adios!

One more thing... No more s*x clubs! LOL

Amsterdam... Day 4

It's a new day! Up earlier than expected. Perhaps the beeps and flashing red lights did it! Well at least the red light is flashing from my berry this morning. It represented police sirens the nite b4. Ahhh... How I'd like to forget that happened. The scene lingers in my thoughts, emotions, in my outlook on Amsterdam.

At noon I'll rise to yet another brisk fall rainy day. Somehow in such little squares, my days have been excitingly full. Full of laughter, smoke and food. Hmmm... Is this what my life has become. "The life of a smoker." All activities are heightened from the effects of smoke. As a result, I enter the Coffee Shop yelling,"Shiva" please!

Ahhh... Today should be swell. I'd like to venture towards Paris. However, extensive train rides and high fares has subjected me to another day in AMS. Let's see what the day holds. Day 4 here I come. I'm not looking @ U the same, so AMS surprise Me with your greatness today. Ciao! And btw... I rose to the page of my BFFs, Nia & Chelly ♡.

Amsterdam... Day 3

Your time 8am, my time 2pm... And the day has just begun. Day 3 and conveniently operating on New York time. I ask, what will my Thursday bring? Last nite put a spin on mood, plans and outlook on the day to follow. My mind is clouded from smoke and the chain of events. 2 seconds ago, just 2 seconds ago my vision was different.

I'll clear my eyes, escape premeditated thoughts and get on with the day. 2pm and I type to the breeze of a rainy AMS day. I throw on my new boots and get out to see what today brings. Let's start it off with yummy hot chocolate and a meal to follow...

Amsterdam... Day 2

Late rise, early smoke. A day to shop and of course, a little smoke.

Rain and the essence of such a place can defeat even the worse of unfavored weather. As I tap the surface with my ballerina flats, I think of how a great pair of boots would have been a better option. Prayer answered! This happens to be the land of shoes and I just spotted my first purchase... A very nice pair of brown boots. Job well done Puttie :) and the nite continues!

Premium liquor finally!!! Yes, hotel bar it is.Then red light district late nite. Hmmm... I'll tell U how it goes from here...

As promised! The day has progressed and I'm in what U call the"hospital." Yet again. But this time... This time for a different cause.One may say its the repercussions of AMS, but I say it's one of the most frightening times of my life! They call it amnesia. I call it crack. Some smoke that trickled down a blood stream of drugs and caused a black out spell. From top to bottom in seconds. Eyes rolling in back of head. Man down! And I'm scared shit-less! What do I do? Where do I turn? I know the usual protocol is 911, but I don't know this emergency code. Didn't see it coming! Didn't expect it to happen! Now I sit... I wait... In a foreign room... In a foreign place... With foreign people... And wonder if my friend is alright... I'm scared shit-less!!! And all along, the same weed the brought us here, is lessening my fear!

Amsterdam... Day 1

Breakfast... Coffee Shop... It's all history from there!

The look of such a place has quite a humble essence. It's sort of like the, "my house is your home" feel... Though foreign, the look of this place is true to its natural being. The people however... Somewhat cold and distant. I have not found the words to sum up this community. But as I search... Within and throughout the town of AMS, I'll be sure to come up with a few to render the justice needed. Welcome to Amsterdam!!!