WHEN WILL TODAY END???

Just as soon as U think U've made it thru the worse part of your day... Hit with another bomb. A feeling of being overwhelmed. Just wanting the day to end. I wish I had a "U" to cuddle with, so I could feel safe in my world. It's like the dark tunnel has stretched longer & it's becoming more difficult to see the light at the end. I'm quite the optimist. The brighter angle of the picture holds me captive. Yet, on a day like today, the sun isn't shining. Plans have gone astray. As the world turns... I somehow ended up in the least favored position.

WHEN WILL TODAY END???

Don't Wake Me! I'm Dreaming...

The nite U don't quite anticipate... U bump into an strange yet familiar face. In a land U once visited. An area one use to frequent. 10 steps behind, catching up and catching my breath, yet i still feel well connected. The chain of events varying between small arguments, laughter, endless jokes and informative conversations. I guess U can say i have a thirst for knowledge. I want to know more, I want more! More of U! U give me a lot, so y continuously hold my hand out? The mystery in this encounter is one I'm quite fond of. I proceed with intense emotion and our connection has no specified meaning. We have no title. There are no set rules b/c there's no comparison to what we know. So we blow in the wind, eat from the same plate (well not really), talk, talk, talk, laugh, laugh, laugh and spend all our free time in the company of one another. Can i get enough? Will the consumption of HE, eventually be too much for him or me? Right now I go hands free and just ride the wave. Well here's what the encounters consist of.

Meeting after work for a bite. A few hours turn into more than 12. We walk the city streets. All of a sudden the brisk winter nite evolves into a favored romantic comedy. The pace of street walkers catch the eye. It's like they're passing but I visualize every1 under false pretence. I see you, but I feel him! That feeling has taken me to new heights. I'm blissfully in a trance. Bring me back! I've always been a dreamy gal, so it's OK... DON'T WAKE ME I'M DREAMING! No1 can see what i see nor feel what i feel. I think mystery and misunderstanding creates some of the best connections. My God has all the answers! His simplistic treasures/pleasures, are meant to be disguised, take u by surprise, leaving a look of confusion on one's face.

I've learned to take the gifts as they come. No need to try repackaging his perfect treats. In doing so, U may receive your first kiss. Oooopsie... did I just spill the beans?!?!?!?

Foreign lands travelled...

One lovely Saturday morning... No responsibilities! No obligations! Today is about ME! Who said it's selfish to indulge in ME and ME only today? Well selfish for the selfless is what I'll call today. See... I'm not here to boast about the great person I am. (Although I am a great person! LOL) But here's the thing, I'm searching for an understanding. How does one word, dictate how you'll deal with the person U claim to love. We are all angered by things in life, but how we choose to deal with such love, (ooops I meant to say anger), is what dictates how you'll deal with it all. The way you love me is the way you'll hate me. How fast U love me, will influence how fast you'll hate me. OMG I feel different today. Different about life. I've gained clarity on my own. I've released all emotions and for right now I'm ok. I get that it's not all about me, but today it is. And I realize that none of the human species lives in or with perfection. But what I have realized, love is that infectious bug that sees imperfection as nothing less than perfection. They say to let em go and he'll come back. It'll be nice to have U, but in ur absence I will survive. The sweet, sometimes soft spoken socialite has a hell of a back bone. I may hold back to spare the heart some pain, but this time I let go. I gave all! Mushy, corny, embarrassing, humiliating, dangerous, questioned amongst many... I wore my heart on my sleeve. They say U don't live till u've loved. Well I got a recent snippet of what it feels like to let your heart live. Today I feel more alive than I have in some time. I mean, I've been smiling since our first sober conversation. And I still smile. Memories last a lifetime. I remember the good, grow beyond the bad and keep looking ahead. Anything worth wild will have a great risk factor. Well what's life without risk?

OH MY... How can I forget? I just had a conversation about acknowledging how one operates with all and to think this person will not deal with U the same way. Silly me! Dismiss all things that anger U with abandonment. Hmmm... SO I'm not special??? Well to him I'm not b/c bottom line... I'm f*ckin special!!! And this is y today is about ME. Outside worlds cannot dictate that of your own. Deal with feelings and keep moving. Productivity is in the air. A day with the girls. Oh... and let me scour old phones for that number. It's a good time to get a proper fix! hahaha

Til next time... Carpe Diem!

Laughter

Monday nite of laughter! Recovering from Sunday nite partying... sleep was way overdue by the time I crossed my front door. Exhaustion was in the air. After napping for 2 hrs, I was awaken by the arrival of my BFF. We sat up and talked for a while, then my phone rang. Who would of known! This returned call turned into hours of babbling. Starting out with a detailed description of exactly what dating meant in different cultures. Small topic, big laughs and a long nite!!!

BFF stayed in the convo til 4 am and the convo continued til 6:15 am. How the hell will i get up for work??? I did it! One more late nite... Although it took place in my home with the absence of alcohol. I wonder what drove me to talk for so long. Is it like, interest, love, fate??? I don't know if I can answer the question. A friendship has begun! Developing thru way of berry messenger. A love connection, perhaps! Or is it just two souls, awaiting the arrival for an enlightening connection. So different, yet mesh very well. The convos are endless! Empowering! Brings out the girlie girl in me! But what do I want from this? For now I'll take it as a friendship that's so meant to be. But sometimes I wonder where we'll go from here... One day at a time. My Romeo is not what I expected, should I be Juliet... I'm not what he expected! So all we can do is take what the day brings and leave an open window for the unexpected...

6 hours on the damn phone! WTF!!!

LOVE BUG

A date! OMG all of a sudden I have 2. What should i do??? Should I opt to be romanced in a foreign language or should I show face and make a run for it. Funny... the moment I locked eyes with the berry addict, I knew that it was him and I that nite. My other plans were cancelled long b4 HE decided my nite would end with him. They say U can sometimes miss a blessing, a gift, a good thing when U go for ideal packaging. Well well well... let me tell U! I am happy my inner woman fights a lot harder for the things that spark her interest.

It all started from the inclusion of a mass email. Yes... months after we'd met. How things come right on time and are sooo meant to be! Ok... well back to the date. We go & take care of business (Oh no... not that kind of business!), then head to dinner. Dinner with the boys! That was entertaining and tasty. From dinner we proceed to a French restaurant for dessert. The crepes were delish!!! The wine was ok... and from there the party continued. A nite of laughter, smiles and good times. By 12 we were finishing up with glass 3 and heading to "the spot." My 2nd home... Lotus. Needless to say, the nite was a blur by 1. Yes 1am! Uhhh... what a mess I am. One things for sure, I know how to have a good time!!!

Oh... And guess what? I think I've been bit by the "LOVE BUG." Shhhhh don't tell anyone! I'm trying to hold my composure people!!

Is it not meant to be???

The fire's ignited with a berry swap... BFF is having a very engaging convo with a familiar young man on my behalf. The conversation goes from casual flirting to intense expressions of seeing him once again.

Ok... so now the guy has a mouth full and a burning desire to see me once again. With conflicting schedules at hand, we manage to keep the energy flowing thru berry messenger. It starts with a casual hello, migrates to a pic of self, then a pic of "what to expect" follows. "What to expect...." Mouth wide open! Now the tables have turned and my desires intensify. For a few days, all I can think of is what it will feel like. And after vaca that day presents itself.

"What's up?" Nothing, lying on my couch. "I'm coming over tonite! I'm done at 9pm, see you after!" Anxiously waiting, I begin to clean. Upon his arrival, not WOW'd, but I know there's more to come. He crosses the door, I exit the shower while he sits patiently on the chaise. With a special room invite, we change up the scenery a bit and begin fondling. Kissing, touching, squeezing, holding... all that U can imagine and more! With so much passion, the body screams for MORE. Wants become needs! Motioning to gain such satisfaction, he blurts out, "I don't have any ____." WTF How do u come for an act without all your props??? Uhhhh.... I instantly transform. With a greed to now fulfill a need, I try the old fashion way of reaching my peak. With bodies rubbing, undies touching and warm french kisses to the neck, I get a lil of what I need. Sexually frustrated, turns into somewhat pleased.

I deem tonite a nite worth my time! It's been sometime since I've taken it there... Droughts, dry spells, lack of, can be frustrating. But for some reason I believe God wants my "good girl" to be preserved for "MY GUY!!!" And my guy only! So what will I do? I'll wait! I shall wait patiently... Patiently waiting, but promise it won't take so long this time...

San Fran

Sometimes a day, a moment, a week, a minute, a month, a year... all facets of time to escape can be give just what's needed. New scenery, peaceful environment, visions of unknown waters, red bridges, trolley rides through the streets of Union Square. An exciting escape offering new flavors of life. Architecture of a genius. Who would of known San Fran is the place I'd like to see again. Time well spent! Energy well released! Sleep worth missing! Court side seats worth filling! Delectable tastes & compliments to the chef! A life so close, yet a notable space between the 2.

So the trip comes to an end. New surroundings become familiar territory as the plane glides across the skies, landing in NEW YORK. I'm back! Ready to keep the party going. Ready to go for what I want in life. Welcoming what makes me laugh. I'm back! And given this weeks chain of events... I am really operating as if vacation isn't over just yet.